Friday 4 July 2014

It's Thundering, Feeling Emotional.

Last post I left off with ending my relationship with my sons father in April 2012.  After that I felt as though my parents were keeping me on a short leash, and not allowing me to live, or experience life daily.  I was scared so at the time I didn't realize.  However, today I realize I shouldn't have let it happen...it was a way of them knowing they still had control and always will.

I gave birth to my son, Hunter, on July 8 of 2012.  He changed my life, he made me so happy, gave me a reason to continue my life, to pursue my dreams, to work hard for what I want, and to love and trust a little more.  He was the highlight of my life and always will be.

Although my idiocy continued, I let them control who in the other family was allowed to see my son and who wasn't, and blabbed there face off at the smallest things that had to do with that family and anything they said on their visits with their grandson, son, or nephew.  It was getting irritating at this point in time, I couldn't trust them to keep my personal life private, they pushed me to take my son's father to court...and the things are endless.

I am proud to call them my parents, but even though I live in there house I should still be able to have my own independence!  Just because I am under there roof doesn't give them the right to control my life and raise my son.  Right?!  I feel as though I am not allowed to have a significant other who makes me happy, who wants to support me through all my dreams and aspirations, love me unconditionally, and more. 

But then again maybe I'm taking all of this to rash, or over thinking this situation too much...Maybe I need help, maybe I need to move out and become friends with my parents, maybe I need to talk to them face to face and tell them I need to be able to be me, to be a mother, to be the daughter that give them a grandson, and not a person to boss around...

JUST MAYBE.....

Tuesday 1 July 2014

Three Generations Under One Roof.

I have lived with my family a majority of my life; not including the year and a half when I lived away for work.  I graduated high school on June 27, 2010 and moved out the next day to start my first part time job.  I loved being away from home, my mom and I became friends and we went on numerous outings together.  Being my moms friend gave me a sense of realization, that a mother can always be your mother but she can also be your friend. You then also that you have a sense of independence.

Being independent for a year and a half was great, then I thought it was time to get a boyfriend, and well not long after we started dating I found out I was pregnant. . . I then continued to go in a downward spiral; I lost shifts a work leaving me with an eight hour shift in a seven day week, being lied to on numerous occasion(from my significant other), creating enemies within my family and then having to move back home for financial reasons. . . And the joy started.

I moved back home in September of 2011 and I could tell my parents didn't like it. They just got rid of me and my older brother, then I had to move back home with an unplanned package.  I was now invading in their personal space, and there was going to be more than me there in the next 9 months.

My parents and my ex boyfriend were on bad terms, because of my stupidity for staying with him, after all of his abusive behaviour, his lying, cheating and stealing.  They wanted me to ruin all of our good times together and focus on all the bad.  They eventually got through my thick skull and stubborn mind and made me realize I need to do what is best for me, and my soon to be son.  I left him in April 2012 (before our son was born). 

Then the real fun started.